meh

Sometimes you think you're doing something exciting and new, only to realize that what you've painted looks like a shower curtain.

urggg

having lots of emotional crud going on in my life right now.

who woulda thunk it?

but as they say, we must suffer for our art.

or perhaps we make art because we suffer

yeah, that's it

Muse

M...m...m.m.m.m.mad mad mad

So now you know I'm going crazy, but tuned in to what the middle-aged kids are listening to these days. There can be no better combination of attributes for a Portlander. But I digress.

Went down into the studio for a little art making, with two things to work on.

I should hang curtains so I'm not always jumpy thinking my upstairs neighbors are going to leap in and start doing laundry. I should get rid of the pile of what looks like burnt debris by the water heater.

But it's more funner to paint, so I did that instead.


It was one big burst or strokes and arcs and pigment and lead.

Way more 'automatic' than usual, by which I mean the work took over and asked to be worked fast.

He thrusts his fists against the posts but still insists he sees the ghosts

Since I changed my life almost completely around I sort of stopped making art. I threw a few small pieces of work at the da Vinci Arts School's winter craft fair last December, but no-one bit. I didn't really do my part to promote, or even stay there at the show, trying to lure people into my clutches. I suck at self-promotion, and in fact I didn't really care about this fair, since I'd been working through an as-yet-to-be-completed divorce. There are worse things, I guess.

I also discovered the Mandelbulb, which has rocked my creative world and changed how I view art forever.

I'll tell you about that some other time.

So now I'm in a new, downscale pad at the foot of the fabulous Alberta Arts District. Two good places to drink one block from me.

Easy now.

Also, 16 Thai restaurants.

I finally set up my new studio today, and it's not too shabby - with an emphasis on 'too shabby,' but I'll make it work.

Today I threw some mud down on a 36" x 24" panel. It was about 1/8th mud in the bottom of an otherwise empty bucket, smelly and full of puddles of condensation. Mixed into a loose slurry, the stuff went down pretty easy.

I worked the texture more than I have recently, worried that what I did will somehow unduly influence what comes next. Or maybe that's a good thing?

I also built a small panel for a group show submission, and took an old painting down from the wall upstairs, adding a few lines and lots of pink.

What can I say? I like what I like.

Piccies:

I

My painting just told me to finish it up already. Usually I don't know when to quit; never been given my walking papers before!

H

Really enjoying my big painting now. Lots of unseen things happening make those things that are seen pop more, and the whole work well even if it seems a little sparse to me right now.

The question is always how to know when to stop, and if it seems too soon do you honor that? I believe I'll just set it aside after tonight and revisit in a few days to see.

G

It suddenly occurred to me what I need to do with my art to bring it to the next level. (Yeah, you know the level of which I speak.) In a certain aspect, this thing is sort of antithetical to my general aesthetic. But, what are you going to do?

Or will I?

F

I love the fact that being overcautious is a built in variable for my process.

If I'm nervous, I affect the painting lightly for a while. Was about to lay down some color a couple days ago, and thought the pigment might be too strong, so I diluted it by half.

Did my work and by the time it dried I could barely see it. Nevertheless, through a type of accretion the painting starts taking its direction, and even though the marks are hard to see they will still influence everything that comes after.

E

Have gotten over my fear of the big painting. Am now working with alacrity. Just reminded myself that it's a job, and that I've done this type of work for years now ...

D

I made one mark with a pencil. Hated it. Liked it the next morning. Was ambivalent about it the evening after. I've kind of forgotten about it now, but I know it's down there, watching, waiting for me.

C

I've been holding off on making any marks, though my new big piece is now all covered with dry plaster. It feels solid and didn't warp, there is little torque, so it should be all good.

I hate the nerves that come with working on something big.

Won't someone please take my paintings?

B

Constructed the substrate for a painting today. 36" X 60" - my biggest single piece since I painted on refrigerator boxes in the late '80s.

(I did a huge sep-tych? 6 piece thing at PSU composed of 48" X 24" panels all hung in a row - Bill LePore called it 'outrageous' or something, but that doesn't count, anyway.)

I have to admit I'm a little nervous working that big, and not only because I have no storage!

Maybe my adoring public will go gaga over the size ...

A

Separated black beans from lentils for a while in my basement studio. It helps with concentration. Getting back to work after an unneeded break. Working on small pieces and also trying to go big.

I'm eager to get to it, but circumstances have intervened, I guess. Have to remember and force myself to adhere to some new things I want to work on, while maintaining the good old throughput.

Come Sale Away

Busy calculating cubic feet of storage space. Won't someone buy my paintings?

They're taking up space.

Which brings me to this: Many, if not all, artists will at one point describe their works as their 'children.' Which of course means that those who want to make a living off their art are at best shameless liars or at worst the most venal bastards of the art world for begging to sell their children to the highest bidder.

A3

Still working on distinguishing between being satisfied with a painting and being done with it.

Killin' time and fillin' space/

After that 10-day stint in the basement I took about 5 days off, though I can't say for sure if, during that time, I didn't come down and check out the work once or twice. It was mostly a conscious split. I couldn't take that much interaction. (If I'd remembered the two+ other streams of work I've got on the burners I might have kept going.) Any road, it was good to move back for a bit, and now I've been working again the last three nights.

So here's some pictures.

No bloggy-bloggy?

The friend in the below post asked why I haven't been blogging. Since he reads this blog, I know I'll be satisfying at least one person by posting tonight.

I won't answer his question, but will mention I was thinking of posting something the other night, something horrible. I'm trying to set a new habit, so I've been down in the studio every night of the past ten. I think if I get to thirty I can consider it a habit?

At any rate during this time I managed to push a painting far over the edge, and in the interest of transparency thought I'd trash it here on the blog.

I may not be able to save it, and hopefully if it ends up in a show you won't be able to tell that I was prepared to slander one of my 'children' in public.

If I ever feel that way again - wait, I still feel that way about this piece, despite the changes I made tonight - but if I ever feel that way again, I may confide in strict confidence to one buddy, but I'll never dog a piece in public.

We are jamming.

OK, the big show is hanging at Gallery 114 (1100 NW Glisan - kinda underneath the awesome new guitar shop) and we are all extremely proud. It's looking good - for a bunch of over-40 artists with lives (if I may be so bold and blunt) - the point is, we do what we like, not what we think you'll to like, and we think it shows.

Or something.

I should quit while I'm ahead.

Here's a small selection of new work from me. See it there, Thursday February 3rd from 6 - 9PM. We'll be there.

Lindsay Lohan escapes rehab - Again!

OK, so the Ke$ha thing didn't work too well, maybe this title will work.

But really, I just want to post a picture of the painting I'm donating to the Cascade Aids Project Art For Life auction. It's out to jury, and I sure hope it makes it into the show, because it's always a fun time, and such a good cause.

All of us OPST artists should be donating this year, and hopefully we all get in, so we can be grouped together and get a wall sign!

Say a little prayer for our demos, so to speak.

Ke$ha

Just thought I'd see if I can draw in some random readers with the title. If you're a Ke$ha fan, welcome! I hope you enjoy what you find here.

Anyway, I'm bummed that I feel like I know what I'm doing with only one of the five paintings I'm working on now, and I have like a week and a half to whip things into shape.

Also, I wouldn't describe any of these paintings as more than 'begun' ...